I don’t know if you know this but I was married once… for a total of 2 years, LOL.
And we were together for a total of 4 years.
He was abusive. But don’t feel bad, I’m a strong willed individual which is why we got divorced.
AND if it weren’t for him, I would have never attended American Society of Media Photographer’s Strictly Business conference where I would meet my future partner, whom I’m still with.
Regardless, I was going through a very difficult time with my new reality of not having the life I thought I was going to have at the age of 31.
And this was happening on the heels of my Dad passing away.
I lost my mind for a minute and I started to purge. I purged everything.
And like an idiot, I got rid of EVERY SINGLE leather bound album that had prints of my client work. Years and years of work. Gone.
To this day I regret it but apparently purging is a common phenomenon while going through a divorce.
I had so much to share with you about the before and after, about how far I’ve come. About all the actors I’ve photographed who have gone on to become recognizable faces.
All gone.
While I can’t share everything, somehow I do have a handful of scans from circa 1990s.
So for what it’s worth, above is what my work used to look like when I first started.
Vs.
What it looks like now.
Cringe, right? 😝
Back then when I’d compare myself to other successful photographers, I’d always beat myself up.
Here’s what I didn’t understand: I was comparing my beginning to their middle.
Every photographer you’re stalking on Instagram? They have their own 1990’s photos hidden somewhere.
The difference between my work then and now? About 100,000 photographs.
Not talent. Not better equipment. Just showing up. Even when my work sucked. Even through divorce and loss.
So stop comparing your chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 30.
Keep going. Keep shooting.
Your ‘after’ photos are coming. But they only happen if you don’t quit during the ‘before.’
I’m in your corner, cheering you on through every shitty photo, every comparison trap, every moment of doubt. ✨
Because I’ve been there. And I’m still here.
And so will you be.
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